My Conversation with Fake Neville

I went to high school with a nice fellow named Neville Aga who is part of the fonder memories of my youth. He introduced me to The Simpsons and his mother introduced me to mango ice cream. A year or so ago, he and I reconnected via Facebook. Then, just today, I got a friend request from him, alerting me to the fact that at some point he must have unfriended me—or something. I re-friended him, if that is even a word, and almost immediately Neville started up a chat, the transcription of which is as follows.

"Neville":

Hello

Me:

Weren't we already Facebook friends? Did you unfriend me and then regret it?

"Neville":

So sorry friend i had to

How are you doing ?

Me:

Doing fine, thanks. You? So wait, it says you have just three Facebook friends? This sounds like the worst witness relocation project ever.

"Neville":

My facebook account was hacked

Me:

Ahhhh...

"Neville":

I was so happy though cause on Tuesday seems to be the most happiest day of my life

Me:

Wait a minute, are you Neville or the hacker? That statement makes no sense.

"Neville":

I'm Neville

Me:

Well, sure, but wouldn't the hacker say that, too?

"Neville":

I got $150,000,00 in cash from facebook in on-going seasonal facebook freedom award promo

That was why my account was hacked , I should have called you but i switched of my phone because of families and friend calling and asking for money

Me:

Is this where you ask for my credit card? I shouldn't give you any assistance, but in case you are trying this on other friends of Neville, I'll give you this tip: Neville is fully literate.

"Neville":

Have heard about Agent Mitch Niccum who works for the Power Ball Empowerment ?

I am serious Spraul ,You know how i hate Hoax and Scam

Me:

Yes, I do remember that about you. No one could question your hatred for hoax and scam.

"Neville":

Just trust me Spraul This is real and i was hoping if you have gotten yours ?

Me:

I did get mine, but it was damaged in transit. I had to return it.

"Neville":

I mean if you have received your own winning from the on-going power ball empowerment cause i saw Your name on the winners list when the Claim Agent And the Delivery Man came to deliver my Cash

Me:

Are the claim agent and delivery man the same person? Or is this a two-man team? Do they really deliver cash? Seems like they ought to be more careful. Lots of criminals out there these days!

At this point "Neville" ended the chat and unfriended me (again?). Soon thereafter, I received another friend request: from "Agent" Mitch Niccum.

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